At the moment, I'm just stunned and don't find the hole that leads into the story. The rabbit hole is still there, but it's very small. I struggle finding more than maybe 200 or 300 words.
One of my friends died. I heard the news yesterday. He died last Saturday, and today we're off to meet the parents.
I have no idea what happened, only that he's gone. My partner is taking it pretty hard - they were much closer, regular gaming buddies, while I connected with Chris mostly over us both being war and thriller geeks and early technological adopters. He'd get the iPod/iPhone first, then I'd follow once my budget allowed.
I'm mostly looking after my partner. I've only seen him cry maybe three times in the last seven years, and he's stunned worse than me, filling the time with mindless games and otherwise not an awful lot. The wound must heal by itself, we just have to endure that, that helpless loss, the emptiness. 39 is too young to die, by far.
Rest in peace, Chris.