As much as it heartens me that my books are doing well on a Goodreads reader-voted list, my solo books being on the "Kick-Ass Women-Written M/M Books" feels like a punch in the face.
I'm totally OK with my co-written things to be there - fact is that I most of my co-written things are co-written with women and female-identified writers, it's the nature of the beast - but my solo stuff? Way to make a compliment feel like a bitchslap. It's this need to decide MY gender for me (like I can't work it out on my own) and to "out" me (just like my charming ex-co-writer has done for years), when there's really no big newsflash. I've "outed" myself back in November, and apart from the death of my mother, it was one of the most painful events of my life. It's even worse - it attempts to make my identity invalid. It says "HE IS NOT TRANS, SHE'S A WOMAN!"
Honestly, words fail me. Just seeing this today was a punch to my gut. I sit in front of the computer, feeling ill and angry and irrational. I want to punch somebody, and I can't. Welcome to the internet, where people go out of their way to be assholes, because they are unaccountable for their actions.
I will try to stay away from Goodreads now. It's not an environment that is any good at all for me. I have enough things on my plate - productive things, writing things, editing and publishing things - to allow that place to mess with my head like that.
I'm totally OK with my co-written things to be there - fact is that I most of my co-written things are co-written with women and female-identified writers, it's the nature of the beast - but my solo stuff? Way to make a compliment feel like a bitchslap. It's this need to decide MY gender for me (like I can't work it out on my own) and to "out" me (just like my charming ex-co-writer has done for years), when there's really no big newsflash. I've "outed" myself back in November, and apart from the death of my mother, it was one of the most painful events of my life. It's even worse - it attempts to make my identity invalid. It says "HE IS NOT TRANS, SHE'S A WOMAN!"
Honestly, words fail me. Just seeing this today was a punch to my gut. I sit in front of the computer, feeling ill and angry and irrational. I want to punch somebody, and I can't. Welcome to the internet, where people go out of their way to be assholes, because they are unaccountable for their actions.
I will try to stay away from Goodreads now. It's not an environment that is any good at all for me. I have enough things on my plate - productive things, writing things, editing and publishing things - to allow that place to mess with my head like that.
Oh fuck, what an idiotic thing. Aye words fail me is a very good description indeed. People do tend to let their tounge loose before their brain starts working. The hideous thing is it ruined your mood. My hugs and sympathy Aleksandr, and know that one reason why I love your books is because they're written by a mans perpective and mind. I wish you have a very good rest of the day and hopefully your mood will not be much affected by this incident for much longer.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're so upset, but can't you just let it go as an instance of ignorance? One of my favorite m/m writers, a female, is on a list of m/m written by men. So many women write as men that I think the misunderstanding (even if it is an assumption) is fairly common. The person who created the list may not know anything about you, simply assumed that all the authors of the co-written books are women. As much as I hate to ask, would a female author get as hot under the collar at being mistaken for a man? I understand that so much has happened lately that your sensitivity meter is probably out of whack, but this is a good time to step back and gain some perspective.
ReplyDeleteAwww, fuck clueless. Really sorry, dude. Well, looks like you fixed the list at least.
ReplyDeletePrejudice is shitty in every form and I'm sorry you've had to fight through so much ignorance and meanspiritedness. I have just started to work my way through your backlist as I only *discovered* your books with country mouse. I'm loving them and I hope to keep reading your work for along time to come in whatever form it takes. Hope your day gets better *zen hugs*
ReplyDeleteAww, I am sorry to hear that's happen, Mr. Voinov (^_~) I suppose I can't say, "Oh it must have been a mistake because of assumptions." After all there are plenty of hints to your gender. My only consolation is at least they got the kick ass part right.
ReplyDeleteI had a brief moment of wondering if they meant kick-ass women characters in m/m because well, Donata is. Then realised I was reading it wrong.
ReplyDeleteThere are aspects of Goodreads that I like - it's a nice way to check on books and find everything by an author. But it does suffer from the usual idiot population. So many people seem to think that online anonymity means they can behave like complete asshats. Sorry they took a swipe at you :(
Internet HUGS! seriously people can be very uneducated and do ignorant things. goodreads has never been my most favorite of forums, as I found it rather catty, and simply exhausting. You do what you need to do in order to stay in that productive and happy place. Sometimes that means letting go of things that drag you down. Love your work sir!
ReplyDelete*growls* Right now words fail me. All I have is very angry noise in my head on your behalf.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Ugh how awful for you. Your books are awesome.
ReplyDeleteThey are one hell of a tough crowd at Goodreads. Tough and rude. Sorry.
ReplyDeletePeople can be so cruel and insensitive sometimes. I'm sorry you got hit with this again. Although I like many features of GR, I tend to cringe more times than I can count. People just don't know what it means to be respectful. Stay strong and know that many people do support you! *hugs*
ReplyDelete