Thursday, 1 November 2012

The things that are happening

This is one of those "sorry I haven't been blogging for a week or longer" roundup posts. I first was too tired after GRL (post on that might be forthcoming), then I was busy (getting coverage with my post in USA Today), and then I've had to deal with a big disappointment, and attended some workshops. Actually, I'll be gone again for four days starting tomorrow.

First things first. From 31 October for a whole week, I'll be donating $1 per sold book to the Red Cross involved in disaster relief following Sandy. Because it's very difficult (actually in some cases impossible) to track my sales with some publishers (certainly not by date), and because I don't receive royalties at all from some releases, I'll have to limit this to my recent work - which also guarantees that I'm actually making a dollar (or more) on sales of my books. I'll top up the total amount to a nice, round number. So if you're missing Skybound, Dark Soul #1-5, Incursion, or Gold Digger, this is a good moment to read a book for charity. :)

Other stuff going on threw me for a loop. It's always hard to be disappointed in people, but it's worse if somebody I thought I knew has consistently spread lies and taken advantage of my friends. I tend to assume the best of people, and then I get jolted back to earth. The best thing to do with an emotional vampire and a social predator is to cut them off entirely - no attention, no money, no support, and no tears.

It doesn't help that I feel bad for having been duped and for not believing something that I'd been seeing with my own eyes. Generally speaking, it'll make me more cautious about certain types of behaviour. I'd previously encountered exactly two compulsive liars in my life, and both played that particular game so well that they destroyed lives and people's self-worth, so there's always the possibility that they are actually sociopaths/narcissists.

The good thing is, I spotted this early enough in example number three to stay way clear before any more damage happened, but that doesn't make things any more pleasant to deal with. I hope there's healing/therapy for the person and their victims. Here's me being optimistic again: I do think that even compulsive liars, people celebrating a martyr/victim complex, people lying about their needs and frailties for sympathy and money/gifts, people who take advantage of other people for months and years and then badmouthing them to everybody who will hear/believe, people misrepresenting everybody they've been in contact with - that even those people can change and improve and possibly even see what damage they do and even make amends.


Optimist = me.

Writing hasn't been happening, but right now, I'm pretty much at peace with that. I've done a spot of plotting and a bit of research, but my focus right now is the big piece of work happening in my garden (they've laid three patios and have completed quite a bit of hard landscaping, so I can see the shape of future things), the workshops I'm attending in London (next one: Friday to Monday), and re-thinking and re-evaluating some things in the past and future (never mind the present). Personal growth more than creative growth. Things are piling up all around me, but I'm less anxious about it, which actually makes me more productive.

As I think, the day job is getting seriously old. I do like being part of a team. Here though, there is no team. I don't feel particularly valued, and I don't see anything happening that they promised me at the interview (yeah, newsflash - I did say I was an optimist, but I think we can now upgrade that to "gullible"). However, with all the banks kicking out investment banking staff (one of my ex-colleagues at Previous Place has just been fired), I'm stuck here for at least another year, possibly two. Best I can do is try for a move inside the same company or at least cut the time I spend physically in the office. There aren't really any jobs but maternity cover and temp jobs, and I do like some security, and the benefits here are nice.

Maybe the overall mood will improve once November is gone, and all the thinking I'm doing yields some results. Maybe I should throw myself into some random, NaNoWriMo project, getting too busy to do all that heavy thinking. I *will* have to get back into the birds book to have anything to sell, and after all the work and effort, I'd simply hate to lose it or give up.


  1. Thanks for writing the second half of this, Aleks. I feel better knowing I wasn't the only one. {{{hugs}}}

  2. It's a strange mix of disappointment and shame, Aleks, when you realize someone you trusted has misled you. Not an easy thing at all.