Wednesday 7 May 2014

Post-Birthday Post

Right, it's 7 May, so I'm now officially 39 years old. (Note to self: update biography.)

I'm looking forward to starting my massage training in two weeks. I'll be able to give basic massages from September (which is the date of my first exam), and I've had a chat with my local hairdresser who thinks setting myself up as a masseur locally is a great idea, so that's my plan of action.

After being out of an office for four months now, I can't imagine going back, to be honest. I don't wanna. (I might still return to my previous line of work if I get an amazing offer that helps me pay off the mortgage in a few years, but it would have to be an amazing offer - and none of those seem to be happening on the market. People are hiring journalists with my specialisation, but not editors, and no job offer could be amazing enough to return to journalism.) So I have to make a business plan for the massage part of my portfolio to generate a supplementary income. In August or so, I'll be starting to look at local therapy rooms to hire on a day-to-day basis, or maybe join forces with other health-and-wellness people.

The behemoth novel (code name: ROI), which I spent two weeks editing hard, was turned down because it's not romantic enough and essentially I'm not willing to turn it into a typical romance to increase expected sales numbers. It's a sound business decision. No hard feelings, though it came as a surprise and puts me into an awkward position where I have to fend for myself. You only notice how much work the team does when that support is no longer there.

I was considering sending ROI to agents and mainstream publishers, but I have to admit that I'm quite demanding in terms of what I want from a publisher, and impatient. I no longer have the stomach to wait months for an agent to get back to me, and then months and months for the publisher to get back, and then two to three more years until somebody can fit me into their catalogue. Also, it's a genre-buster. It's far too gay and explicit for the mainstream financial thriller crowd, it's too much a financial thriller for the coming-of-age crowd, and not nearly romantic enough for the romance crowd, and it's far too business-y for the erotica crowd. Hey, even I don't know how to market it or who could possibly be interested in reading this. This makes it very unsuited for all m/m publishers I know, and I have no real contacts to traditional LGBTQ presses (who will then have to work out how to sell this genre-cluster to anybody, really).

So, after careful consideration, I'm going to self-publish ROI in June or July via Amazon, likely Amazon exclusive (this keeps my book-keeping to a minimum and my royalties to a maximum). What I now need to sort out is editing, proofing, layout and cover and how to do all this. There's also tax documents to fill out. Essentially, I'm throwing this book at the mercy of you, my readers, making it the best I can on my very limited budget, and hope somebody loves it. Letting it die is no alternative, and I trust that any book finds the readers it's meant for, eventually. I'm hoping I'll have all the ducks in a row for a release in June/July.

I've also done some financial modelling, and done a cashflow analysis, and it's pretty clear I need to eventually go back to a second job in some capacity. I've deleted a long whiny post about why that's the case with proof and numbers, but it comes down to either writing books that sell significant amounts or writing the books that keep me up at night, and those aren't the same.

I've also done some soul-searching (I found one, I'm happy to report), and I remain unsuited to writing the type of books that sells vast amounts of copies. In marketing terms, I'm a solid midlist performer with an enthusiastic but small readerbase. I'm the type of author publishers won't lose money on, but they won't make them rich or hit bestseller lists. I do win some awards every now and then, but I'm also too proud to take money from my partner to "fund my dream". It's a life lesson from my mother who ended destitute and broken when she had to rely on a husband who was a functional sociopath and dropped her when she got ill.

I write the books I must, and that's the price for it. Not that I'd be any good writing any other type of book. The luxury of writing what I want means I need to find a way to pay my remaining bills with a second job (ideally massage, though we'll see how that goes). I'm hardly the first author who faces that decision, so no need for anybody to cry a river, least of all myself.

Generally, I don't expect this situation to get any better. I've had a look at my spreadsheet and I'm clearly drifting away from writing romance. Just this morning, I realised I have a series of at least four novels that won't have any romance in them. For me, that's 12 months of work. There's no way I can afford to write them if I want to live off writing.

But I'll still write them, sales be damned.

37 comments:

  1. Most people have to write what their brain tells them to write. I suppose some can switch and churn out whatever is asked for, but I imagine most can't or have no interest in doing so.

    The only publisher that popped into my mind was Lethe Press. I think they do a much wider range of types of books than just romance, but beyond having read a few books from them, I'm really clueless about their business, audience, catalogue, etc. I suppose you could surf over and have a gander. :-)

    Sure you won't need a test subject for a back massage at the beginning of August? After getting my house packed up and on a boat, I'll likely need one when I'm in London. :-)

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    1. I have a friend who's happy at Lethe, and they seem to do a really good job. Right, now, I need to put ROI into the large, large gap I have - there's no releases in June, July, August and October, so ROI will help me bridge that a bit.

      Regarding massages - I won't be qualified in August, but I can give you one of those I did before the training. I've been told I'm pretty good (which is why I want to learn it properly). Are you coming to London or leaving?

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    2. We're coming to the UK for a couple of weeks before I head to Kuwait. So I'll be in London around the 2-7 of August. Ish.

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    3. Cool - let's meet up. I'll bring oil. :)

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    4. Sounds good. Once I have details I'll be in touch.

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  2. Hon, I understand your pain. In fact, I'm going to.be spending some time thus summer writing a book that very likely won't make me a lot of money, because if you're going to write to pay the bills you need to balance that with writing that feeds your soul. Sometimes it's just worth it to write in complete freedom. Good luck in all you're new endeavors-- you remain one of the most interesting men I know.

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    1. *hugs* That's pretty much the size of it. I'll focus more than before on the books I write for myself and because the Muse demands it. I've tried everything else, it's back to the roots now.

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  3. I'm looking forward to reading this book, Aleks. I enjoy your writing, enjoy how you blog and how you interact on social media and I see no reason why I wouldn't enjoy this 'new' tone of your voice. :)

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    1. Evaine - Thank you. :) It's not that new, actually, it's just very much weird stuff like Skybound or Scorpion or Incursion - historicals, fantasy, sci-fi - which are notoriously awful at the box office, as it were.

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  4. Real can be a real bitch at times, standing in the way of our dreams and the way we'd prefer to live our lives. But I love the massage idea and have got a feeling it would feel less like work than having to go back to the office would.

    Also, you do realise that regardless of what the title of this new book is going to be, in my mind it will forever be Republic Of Ireland :)

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    1. That's why I'm doing it - I genuinely enjoy massaging people. I wanted to be a masseur as a kid - and then got sidetracked by other stuff (granted, I also wanted to be a vet and a therapist and an archeologist..). I really think the massage thing is something I have talent for - and it's something you can do for a long time without burning out and wanting to strangle people. SO much better than the office. :)

      And re: ROI - well, I'm thinking the financial term, which is where it's coming from.

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    2. I just want to point out that anyone who works with the public occasionally wants to strangle people, even massage therapists. :P

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    3. Yeah, but hopefully I can make it look like an accident. :)

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  5. I'm looking forward to reading it and will keep suggesting friends read your books - good fiction is worth a shout out :)
    I nearly asked for a massage at one of the last UK Meets - I think you'd just given Blaine one. Maybe this year I won't be so shy :)

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    1. Thank you, hon. And - absolutely ask me for a massage. (Note to self: pack some good oil.) I did quite a bit of that at Atlanta, fixed a couple headaches and then worked for about an hour on a big guy (farmer - pretty much all knotty muscle), who told me I'd done a better job than the masseur he pays 60 bucks an hour. LOL. So, yeah, I really enjoy it. And there's some TFT we can try, too. I have some cool energy tricks for you. :)

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    2. Thank you :) I have some of the Lush massage bars - have you tried those? Not as good as doing your own mix but much less messy.

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    3. Oh, I do like those - also because they go well with Dude's skin.

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  6. I'm delighted to hear I'll be able to read ROI soon :)
    And if you need an editor, I'd give you a good rate. (and if you need a hand with Amazon, let me know, as I've had to do the tax stuff with them also.)

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    1. Thank you! I'll pull all the info together for the tax thing. This one looks like it'll be peer-edited, but once I have any budget at all, I'll give you a shout. :)

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  7. Aleks, email me!. I can give you contacts for editing and all that so it won't break your bank account. My editor who I use for my self published books are very reasonable money wise and the best experience I ever had with editors.

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    1. Thank you! Finances being what they are, I basically have no editing budget, but I have a few peer who're helping. I scrubbed the text hard, so it's pretty clean, thankfully.

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  8. I'm pleased to hear that you're going to self pub ROI, its a shame that things have to be pigeon holed

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    1. There's no way in hell this book is going back into the drawer... Thank you!

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  9. Can so relate to this. Even when I start out with the intention of writing a "market friendly" book, weird shit just creeps in. It's part of my voice, and there's no way of changing that without destroying the spark that spurs me to write in the first place.

    Kudos to you for knowing yourself and your work.

    I've done some self-publishing myself. Drop me a line if you want to chat about it.

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    1. Personally, I like the strong/different voices much more anyway. I think we grow our readership more slowly and might never sell as much as the "same old", but personally, I can't compromise and I'm done trying. My big thing at the moment is to work out how to format a book, especially a long one....

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  10. I sympathize. Writing too much of any one genre gets old after a while, and romance pretty much ends when your two characters find their HEA. Other genres aren't limited in this respect. If you have a series going and people fall in love with your characters, you might be pleasantly surprised on the financial end of things. Count me in - I'll buy a download, definitely. You write good stuff. I'll even blog about you :-)

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    1. Thank you! All support is so, so welcome. And I'm hoping the urban fantasy series will work out. If not, at least the characters at least will stop shouting at me at night.

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  11. I love your book voice so happy to read the books you want to write. I hope you find a way to put together a bunch of things that let you live your life with dignity, pleasure and an income :)

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    1. Thank you! Hard at work on that. :) Really looking forward to get that massage thing off the ground, too. It just feels like it'll provide the balance I need.

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  12. I'm wondering if Riptide would have published Special Forces? I think probably not, and yet it is one of my all-time favorites. You have to follow your heart, otherwise the work suffers and you are unhappy. Rest assured that you will always have readers whether or not your work fits into a traditional genre. Excellent writing is always a pleasure.

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    1. Special Forces would have been turned down based on its length and the head-hopping, no doubt. In stylistic terms, it's a bit of a pile.

      And - yeah. I just cannot compromise on this without killing everything I love in the first place. I just have to rely on growing my readership and keep writing. Many books with small sales can outearn a couple books with bigger sales. Also, I love writing and I'm naturally fairly productive.

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  13. I'll be keeping an eye for ROI's release. I'm surprised how much I liked it the first time I read it...5 years ago? I'm the market you don't enjoy writing for, unfortunately, but I count myself privileged and lucky to have been given ROI to read.

    Wishing you all the best in every good thing:)

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    1. Yeah, that would have been 2009/10, so at least 4 years. I've meanwhile cut out all the boring bits (mostly a matter of killing individual words and sentences rather than scenes/characters).

      And--I enjoy writing romance if I have a romance idea, but I have to follow the shape of the idea and stay true to the characters, and both of those have their own ideas where things are going. I don't begrudge anybody reading a certain thing--I have my preferences too, and there are many, many outstanding authors who can satisfy that demand. I'm just somebody whose ideas are weird and out there and strange, and I simply cannot compromise. But that's okay, I'm making peace with that and am grateful for every sale.

      Hope all is well. :)

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  14. I'm a business admin graduate taking the CPA exam, so a gay/explicit/business-y financial thriller written by you sounds like a dream come true. I've always wondered if I'd ever get to read about business in a fictional or nonacademic setting with a side of erotica and now I will be able to!

    Hope everything goes well! I can't wait until ROI comes out!

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    1. Awesome. You're definitely somebody it's meant for. I cut all the technical bits that the last version had and that added very little, but it's still as real as I could make it. I even covered the buyouts in the book and talked to the CEOs and dealmakers. It's ... eerie how autobiographical some of that stuff is.

      I expect a release in June/July. I'm impatient like that. :)

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  15. We've talked a bit about this and I am still shaking my head over ROI's rejection. I love your work and in the end you really just need to make yourself happy, so you keep doing you and the rest will hopefully pan out. Let me know if you need anything ( even if it is just the means to talk shit and laugh over nonsensical things! )

    *hugs*

    Kassandra

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    1. It makes perfect business sense to pass on a book that will likely never yield a return on investment. (Hah.) So I have no hard feelings. On the other hand, There's no way in heaven or earth that I'll let this book die. I don't even care about the sales numbers.

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