"Glync" finished

(Welcome, new followers! Hope you're feeling right at home!)

I had a little story that I was playing with over the last few weeks. I call it "Glync" - which is just grabbing some letters each from both words of the title. I rather suspect my editor won't love the title, so I'm not getting overly attached to "Glync".

Interestingly enough, the uproar around some rather ill-considered blog posts in the community have fuelled the writing. There are some Deep Issues in Glync that I've put on the page. I think the story is stronger for it. But even so, I think it works. I think it's totally its own thing (even though it's vaguely related to Dark Edge of Honor - same universe, but different technology and issues and overall themes). It was one of those stories that I began to doubt 10k in, and then the next 10k were a brutal slog with the constant temptation to just drop the project and leave it all be, and then the last 4k just came together.

It's okay, Muse, you always know better than I do. I believe we've established that by now.

During this time, my beta readers kept asking for more. I think they loved it much more than I did (I do love it, but I also hated it while I was doubting it). Sometimes, my beta-readers are my sanity check. You guys owe these people more than you can imagine. If not for them, several of my stories wouldn't have gotten finished or cleaned up or edited or even started.

I wrote this story *for* somebody, and I can't wait to hear what she thinks about it.

At 24k, it has cleansed my palate; a different mood, a different angle, but I did love the characters and the grim humour of it. Also, sign me up to become a shapechanger - those guys and gals are amazingly hot.

Now that my palate *is* cleansed, I might renege on my various ideas and write the sequel to Lion of Kent first. After claustrophobic sci-fi, knights on the tournament circuit feels like the thing I need next, while the Muse chews on the next plot point of my WWII novel. I've promised that one, and I hate to keep people waiting. The Lion of Kent has been a while, so I guess it's about time.
Diving right back in will also prevent that post-book depression.

So, yeah. Either tournament fighters or Nazis. I'd say it's going to be a mood thing and also depend on a friend and co-writer.

In vaguely related news, I've become a member of the Arvon Foundation. I'll be doing a course there in September - a whole week without phone or internet, just writing and thinking. Depending on my mood, that sounds either like heaven or torture.

Awaiting the offer

I had two very good interviews at the Major European Bank, first with other editors (my future bosses) and then with the head dudes and HR person and the job agent reckons they'll make an offer, they just need to get the salary signed off by Head Dude who's currently travelling.

Then I have a leaving period of four weeks. So, anywhere between now and maybe 8 weeks, I'll have a new job that pays somewhere between 50 and 70 percent more than I make right now. I've talked to somebody in the department I trust and she feels I should try and get a similar raise here and that it's entirely possible they'll even pay it. Quote "they'd be fools to let you go." I agree. Few things in life I'm sure off, but I'm the exact right kinda person for the job, and in the last five months, I went above and beyond the call of duty. To the point where the writing, the real life, the exercise, friends, and everything else suffered.

I@ll have to give it all some serious considerations. Do I want to be an editor or do I want to be a journalist/networker. The decision is not as easy as it sounds. Work/life balance re-balanced, much more holiday, a job with an earnings potential only limited by the coffers of a bank (hey, come on! Banking/financial institutions pay a lot more generally than business media).

Working for a bank with a German heritage means - holidays, less overtime, clear, efficient approaches and procedures (the place I work now at has some inefficiencies that drive me up the wall). It's exciting since it's growing, and might be a step into actual financial services (I could go into compliance... which would serve my anal German side very much) - with the huge earnings potential. They are supportive of training and acquiring further qualifications, while here, I teach myself and follow the example of my legend-sized boss.

At the moment, I don't quite know. The chat with my colleague made the idea of leaving much harder. On the other hand, pushing the mag the way I've been doing exhausts and drains me. That's when I keep realising I'm an INFJ - I'm good with people, but I do need a lot of time to recharge my batteries after continued exposure to them. Editing for the bank means far more one-on-one, talking a lot to "huge egoes" (their words, not mine), possibly moving into an analyst/compliance role inside the bank rather than busting my ass to break stories and meet deadlines on editing magazines.

But it's comforting to think that, whatever I do, as long as it supports the writing, I get paid enough to wear tailored suits, have some security (Taurus there) and am rewarded for hard work, I'm good. I work to live, not the other way round. In my case, I work to write. So, more holidays, more writing time, less stress, sounds about right for me.

But yeah, I spent yesterday staring at the screen, absolutely nauseous with guilt and worry over the magazine when/if I leave. My boss has been very good to me. I've learnt an awful lot. It's going to be tough.

The plot, it has arrived

I plotted the second half of "Scorpion", so I know now where it's all going and when. The muse plays ball, which is great. Seems he wants to get done as much as I want to move on, too.

No news yet on either of the submitted novels. I'm reasonably optimistic that I'll publish three novels next year - the question is with which publisher. And honestly, while I'm chasing the muse around, I don't even particularly care. I'm plenty busy just getting the current scene down and writing the next one. I can feel the next two project push against my brain, trying to get lodged in and turn into proper brain parasites that take over my life and my thoughts.

Yeah, I'll now write the outline for Scorpion and move stuff around and make it all shiny. The main question at this point is if Steel lives or dies - if he dies, I know who'll kill him. Maybe that settles it.

I found the music to write this stuff with - "In Extremo" is a great band to write fantasy with. I need to get their remaining CDs/iTunes downloads. My collection is woefully incomplete.

And 6k later

I'm in the list-making stage of getting my reality under control. If I try and get control over anything, I start making lists. Sometimes, they are flow charts. They happen at work, in writing, and sometimes even turn into spreadsheets.

"Scorpion" has hit 36k. Which means I have more than half a novel. I'm currently adding to it at a rate of 500-1,000 words a day, which is not bad for a workday wordcount.

I'm awaiting news on two submitted novels and pushing hard for the third one, while researching the fourth. Keeping my head down and working. I also passed probation at work, sorted out my first visit (ever) to the US (I'm attending a conference), and will soon have to arrange my travels to Poland. Looks like I'll do a whole lot of travelling in this new job.

My first real "investigative" article was accepted at a prestigious financial magazine (not my own). That's definitely a writing credit I can add to that resume. Maybe the equivalent of the WSJ? I'd have to check circulation. It's a big deal and I'm proud my boss pitched it to them.

It's also great to hear that my style is "delightful" and my features "truly excellent". That's my livelihood (and the way I pay my mortgage), and my boss has those incredibly high standards that make me want to stretch higher and write as good as I can. And learn how to be better. I still have a huge amount to learn, but I'm enjoying the way there.

Been touching base with a few old friends again. My past is the main thing that keeps me rooted, but that's okay. I start to understand the "backstory". If I was a character, I was starting to figure myself out.

Been reading about homosexuals in the Third Reich, and the book has a huge amount of good detail, while doing a pretty good job of narrating the main points of it all. I'll read some more accounts, but I think in a few weeks I'll be so chock-full of details that the scenes and characters will chrystallise around them and then magic happens - and the story comes out.

Now off to do my 500 words today.

Just before the break

Currently in edits for the secret project, it's absolutely hopping at work and only gearing up towards getting crazy!mad again. So very little to report - too busy, brain too worn down after work for long introspective pieces.

"Lion of Kent" keeps getting great reviews, though, and ranks highly on the Amazon bestseller lists (#36 in Gay fiction and #56 in the gay Kindle list). I'm curious to see what the sales are like, but I'll know in about 6 months.

Today I went to St Paul's Cathedral where they have a Spitfire and a guy in a costume and some relevant bits and pieces exhibited. Made photos on the iPhone, but not sure yet if they are any good. Seeing one of the planes up close is still pretty awesome when you're writing about them. I was pretty close to going to the RAF Museum just to see one, and then they put one directly outside the office extra for me.

Very worried about an online friend with no idea what's happened to her. And dreading, as every year, November. There's this sense of impending dread which might be in part worry for friends and in part just general anxiety. I reckon I might pull back further and marshal my troops for a couple weeks. It's also, always, a tough time when I'm trying to get a novel launched and one finished. Attention/focus can only be split so many ways.

I think once the secret project is done, I'll take a break from writing for a few weeks. Let's see how that goes, but I think I need to recover my energy and fill my heart with images and fresh words. A good time to read and exercise and otherwise do very little at all.

Bullet time

I just updated my website with current projects and release dates. Looking back over the last six months, I did have a lot of releases. The last one, however, was in early May, and since then, I've been wrapped up in house and job things. It feels like I haven't published anything in years.

That's another good answer to the question "how do you publish/write so much?" - my sense of time is utterly screwed. It feels like I'm trapped in an eternal case of bullet time.

At the moment, though, there are only four releases with any certainty.

- "Risky Maneuvers" is going to be out this week.

- I hesitate to promise "Don't Ask Don't Tell" - that project has been bedeviled with so much bad luck, I fully expect the printer to burn down when it goes into production. If everything goes right (hah!), though, we're looking at a release this July. July 2011 is just as likely.

- "Lion of Kent" will come out from Carina Press in late August 2010.

- "First Blood" is due out in September.


And that's me done this year. So far. There might be a few stragglers here and there, but that's what I have contracts for right now.

But, bullet time. Bullet time says "it's been ages since you finished something/sold a story/got a contract". The other resolutions were to move into my own house and get a job that I like and pays a lot more. Yup, both are covered.

The next six months will be about finding a new routine and finishing 2-3 full novels - either hard editing or wrapping up.

Ah, next thing to happen - get that eagle/phoenix tattoo. But not in summer. And another tailored suit from my source. This time, we're looking at a three-piece. I might even get a watch on a chain.

I wrote - AGAIN

I wrote another thousand words yesterday, finished the second scene and the first chapter of the fantasy story, which still doesn't have a name. Yes, seems the habit is back. Three days in a row could have been an accident, four is a habit.

This is weird writing, much like I used to do it back in ye olden days. I'm getting only very small images and ideas. This one comes as a mosaic, there's, so far, no "bigger picture" and I don't know how it'll end. So I'm not even sure it's a "romance" or can be sold to a "romance publisher".

(I know, all my romance-reading readers are groaning now at their screens). It sure has explicit gay sex and I know there's a core relationship, but I have no clue how and where it's ending, and anyway, I'm only 3k in and really just in the stage of introducing my main character. It's not even a story yet. It's two scenes and a character. It's growing slowly, tenuously, like reaching around in a dark room. It might not even come to anything. I have several stories with intriguing beginning and no end, plot or resolution in sight. I don't have any idea what to do with them, since the little that I *do* have is too good to just throw it away.

And I have an "AWESOME" moment today after sending out my "I'm leaving" email. Guy asked me which place I'm going to. I told him, and he was all "oh wow, good place, and I know your future boss, and he's AWESOME, he's just so cool, congrats on landing THAT job!" Having worked there for ten years and closely with my new boss, his opinion should be pretty well-founded, but I'm immensely gratified that I made The Right Decision there.

Countdown. Next week at this time, I'll clean out my desk and delete what few personal files I had on this machine.

Tonight is packing and moving a few last remaining boxes. It's going to be mostly kitchen and bathroom stuff at this stage. Then throwing away trash and preparing everything for the cleaners to blitz the place. By Monday, we're finally out, and I hope to make some progress organizing the new house over the weekend.

More writing

I'm up to 2k of what might become "Scorpion in Amber" - if that wasn't such a cheesy title, but this morning, that symbol showed up in my head and, hey, it's fantasy, and fantasy can be cheesy. Again I'm dealing with a soldier who has PTSD, and it's dark and brooding and pretty intense. So much for writing "lighter" stuff, but since some readers prefer me writing "dark", this is one for them. For others, it might be too much.

I'm slowly uncovering the bones of that project, a curve in the tone here, a guessed shape just under the surface, the mind, it works on where to dig and how and will it be a reptile, a bird or a mammal. I have no clue. Some stories need to be chiselled rather than hewn out, one hundred words at a time, sometimes less. It's likely NOT going to be novel-length, unless I finally find an external plot and the intrigue I want gets more complex. Right now, I have 2,200ish words, so that means, somehow, I wrote 1,300 words yesterday.

Sock Boy is his odious, odious self, taking my ideas, wrapping them up in four hundred words of badly-written blabber and then they go up as top stories on the website to hit a few thousand eyeballs a day. But that's OK, I know whose idea it is, even if I don't get even a byline. The editorial morals/manners/ethics in this place have hit rock-bottom and continue to dig. Hard and fast. I've given up on this place, so I only come here with an ironic/sarcastic smirk glued to my lips, and that's about it.

I told the Awesome Place that I won't be coming to their second interview since I already signed a contract with Other Place. I see in my inbox that there's a response from the guy who was going to interview me. I'm scared to open it. Funny, how I struggle coping with disappointing other people.

Okay, I got my colleague to read it. Urnkg. I could have gotten the job. Then again, that was my gut feeling, too.

I did 1,200 words yesterday. Whoot.