Slightly derailed (Risk Return, conventions and events)

Day job is being crazy busy again, so the second half of February wooshed past and I barely felt it. Some months, apparently, you only notice that they're past when the salary arrives in the bank account. So that's February done.

Luckily, these days I'm tracking all the things I've achieved in a month - best way to stay realistic about a) how much I DO achieve and b) how much CAN be achieved while doing all the things I'm doing. It's still only a fraction of what I WANT to achieve or BELIEVE I can achieve, but every little bit is progress.

And I think writing ca 45k of new words isn't too bad.

As I'm breaking into March, I do plan to finish up Risk Return this month. I think I have only about 10-15k left to do, which can be easily done. Then letting it sit for a while and then edit the piece. I'm currently not sure if it's any good, but it's been pretty therapeutic.

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I'm also planning con appearances. So here are the LGBTQ literature events I will most definitely)*** attend:

Euro Pride Con (Berlin)
UK Meet (Southampton)

And then there's:

Italian m/m event (Verona) - that's an "I want to and need to book".

I doubt I'll make GRL this year (again). It's a really far trip, it'll cost me ca $1,500 to go, and I have a very limited amount of holidays, so "cost plus stress plus distance plus #s of holidays" is kind of counting against that. Also, I'm not keen to run into certain people, so I'm sticking to the "safe" side of the Atlantic for the moment. Mostly, these European events only take a long weekend, GRL with the flight and everything is a week's investment.

That said, next year things might look very different. I do want to meet my American readers again and hopefully soon. But while the day job is necessary, the amount of time I can spend jet-setting is sadly limited.

"My Method"

Today I had my bank account upgraded to HSBC's super special thing. I mostly booked that meeting to close down some accounts I don't really need and get their extra special ISA (which for all non-UKians is our local tax-free savings account - if you do save cash, an ISA is kind of the government-approved way to do it).

In any case, this young guy at the bank is setting all that stuff up for me and while we talk about all my sources of income, obviously the writing comes up. Mostly he seemed impressed that there's a noticeable cash flow from writing. And it emerged that's he's a writer, too, though one of the "I really need to get back into it" kind of writers. A baby writer. (Obviously I gave him some pointers about self-publishing and warned him about shitty contracts. Start'em young, is what I'm saying.)

One of the questions that keep coming up when writer meets writer, is "so do you outline?" - that put me back to a discussion I had on Twitter the other day, where I summed up "my method" in around 8-10 tweets.

Now, I teach writing, I coach writers, I own more creative writing books than I'll ever be able to read, so I am aware of the whole spectrum from "vade retro, SATANAS" to "I'm not writing one single line without having written five pre-outlines". I know some of the most productive writers on the planet (people who write 5-12 novels per year) tend to outline.

Outlines are awesome. They sound like a great tool. I HAVE outlined a few of my novels and I've stalled horribly on some books where I haven't - going from "shit, I didn't expect this" to an 18-month writers' block. The "outliners" even claim there's no such thing as "writer's block", but I don't think it's QUITE that easy.

So, what I'm saying is listen to what I say, not do as I do.

Because even with all those tools at my disposal, I don't outline - not in 90% of all my books. Maybe it's because I consider a story largely a living organism and I have the basic schematics very firmly embedded in my mind ("mammals - two sets of limbs each, apart from the head - we only need one of those").

So while I'm usually flying by the seat of my pants - and sometimes I'm a supersonic speed-freak of a pantser, and sometimes I'm more a blimp, lazily drawing my circles until something happens, I do usually arrive at my destination. That said, I have a couple outlines - it's just that I still need to write those books. So yeah, books I have outlined are the books that tend to not get written.

So, here's my "pantsing" process, which brought you the following stories: Skybound, Dark Soul, all of the Scorpion books, Return on Investment, Risk Return, Incursion... (it's clearly working)

1) Hear voice. A character voice emerges and at that point I barely know who they are, but they start talking and tell me about their problem/issue/situation.

(Addendum: If I already HAVE the character, as is the case with a prequel/sequel/spin-off, I'd call this "flash of insight" - it's something like, "what if Kendras realised that Adrastes isn't quite the man he thought he was", or "I think there's some kind of ambassador involved somewhere, and I knew stuff is going to move and we learn who Kendras's parents are, because all fantasy novels work like that" - bang, we have two more Scorpion books)

2) Commune with voice. At that point, I need to sit back and listen and also start asking question. Note: The more paranoid characters won't reveal all their cards or might not answer. That's fine. They'll eventually show who they are by what they do on the page.

3) Moment of commitment. I finally shove everything else (including other deadlines and projects) out of the way and sit down and start writing.

Thus endeth the "preparation phase".

4) Set-Up/Act 1. Usually at this point I have the character, their situation/problem, and the setting in the widest sense. This means I'm writing - fairly quickly - anywhere between 5,000 and 18,000 words, in chronological order. I write the books exactly in the order you guys read them - even when there's a flashback at the start like in Return on Investment, or pretty early in the book like in Scorpion.

5) THE FIRST WALL. This is my Roadrunner moment when I realise I've run so fast I've left the cliff behind and am standing on thin air. And there's always that delayed "double-take" "oh-shit" moment. Needless to say, that's not a very productive moment - I tend to seriously consider abandoning the book - the usual excuse is "I love this, but I have no plot."

6) Wandering the Plotless Wastes of Doom. This is when I tend to be annoyed with myself for abandoning whatever I've temporarily abandoned in step 3. As words are usually not happening, I notice I buy a lot more stationery and get some reading done. Extra points if those are books relating to whatever project I'm struggling with. This is when I read books on plotting, creative writing books and hang out on the internet.

7) Surrender/Travelling Without a Compass. Eventually I get over myself and keep writing. This is the moment when I'm "just following my characters" who know better than I do what they want and how they'd deal with the situation. I just let them get on with it. It's their lives, after all.

8) Moment of crisis/THE SECOND WALL. Either my character or I (or both of us) are about ready to give this stuff up and leave the book. Somehow, though, there's another 10-20,000 words on the page.

All this is roughly "the middle" of the book.

9) BREAK INTO THREE - suddenly the shutters come off, the sun climbs over the horizon, the stars align - I can see where I'm going. The missing puzzle piece shows up, and seen through the lense of THAT, everything now makes sense. That character I introduced ONLY because I found him wandering the Plotless Wastes of Doom with no idea what he was good for has the answer or said something clever, and suddenly IT ALL COMES TOGETHER. This is how I know I'm in the last third of my book. Shit's beginning to make sense. I usually even have a rough idea how it'll all end.

10) The I'M A FUCKING GENIUS/WRITING IS EASY phase. So I'm writing hard and fast to put in all the pieces I have. This is usually when my writing speeds up quite impressively - I'm writing 5-10,000 per weekend, that kind of speed.

11) The "Maybe this is shit, but at least it's done" moment. As the exhilaration of the previous stage wears off, I'm approaching the ending. This is the last 10-20 pages of the book. The ending is so close I can see it. This is the moment when I'm seriously wondering whether the book is actually any good - what I do know is that it's a poor shadow of the book I  WANTED to write. But at least I'm almost... and then done, so phew, it might be a crock of shit, but it's written and it kind of all makes sense.

12) Betas. I usually send books to a couple readers, but more intensely so towards the ending of the process (because then I know I'm much more likely to finish it). Usually, while I'm still coping with the disappointment/non-genius of that book, I start getting feedback from my betas who indicate it's not a flawless emerald of rare value, but at least it's readable/entertaining and has some decent to good lines.

And then I edit - realising that I'm a decent writer who can actually write. That's nice and gets me through the edits/proofing/layout.

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So, right now, with Risk Return, I'm very firmly in stage 9, bordering on 10.

Circa halfway on Risk Return

So the new year has started very nicely for me - this is yet another year where I start with a big spreadsheet to track my wordcount and even bigger plans, but so far, the tracking (and wording) is going well. I only skipped three days so far in terms of writing, and two of those were devoted to editing Broken Blades. Other than that, I've been racking up wordcounts from anywhere between 125 and 1,800 per day.

And just like any slow, painstaking work, constant effort is beginning to pay off. This is a book that is built around just two ideas - not plotted, so it's growing organically. With that kind of book, I tend to roughly at 1/3 understand what the story is about, and roughly at that point I know what needs to happen and also in what order.

I'm now beyond that point - Risk Return has circa 31,000 words, and I expect there will be 20-30,000 more, so it looks like a short novel from here - in any case, I expect it's about 50% done.

My self-imposed deadline of 3 February might be a bit too tight, but I would expect to wrap it not much after that date. Publication I think in March - I do have a cover but I'm saving that for a "reveal". It's very good. :)

So, no pressure. It's mostly that I want to write what else I have to say about the characters, and how their relationship develops. Much of what reverberates through this book is stuff that happened 10 years before Return on Investment - Martin is picking up the pieces and begins to understand what events, factors and people have shaped Francis.

After that, I'll write the prequel (QOI) - so yes, I'm writing book 2, then book 3 and then book 1.

After that, I kind of see a spin-off happening with a minor character I haven't actually met on the page yet, but he's pretty cool in my head, and there's an Easter egg in Risk Return that points towards Unhinge the Universe.

The true miracle is that the characters are still so "fresh" that I can summon them up even after so many years - Return on Investment is a really old book and I've lost touch with much more recent works.

Anyway. I do post a lot of snippets on my Facebook wall, so Facebook is the place to read my messy first draft pieces if you're interested.

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And there's a fun question from the comments a few days back - specifically if I was going to write more books in the sci-fi universe of Incursion and Dark Edge of Honor (yes, they relate to each other).

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK.

The answer is - absolutely. There will be a sequel to Incursion where the Glyrinny meet the Doctrine.

Let's put it this way - both parties really could have imagined a better, happier way to spend their time. I've wanted to let those two clash for a long time.

Timing-wise - I don't really like setting deadlines several projects ahead, but I'd *like* to work on that towards the middle/end of the year.

2016 looks like a year so far where I wrap up my past and move into the future - so all the prequels and sequels and projects I've had in mind for so many years will get wrapped up when I relaunch the books that return from my ex-publisher - and I'm going to write completely new books with completely new characters too, just to keep the balance and because they've been pestering me.

Announcement - Broken Blades (February 2016)

They only had one night together—a stolen interlude at the 1936 Olympics. After Mark Driscoll challenged Armin Truchsess von Kardenberg to a good-natured fencing match, there was no resisting each other. Though from different worlds—an Iowa farm boy and a German aristocrat—they were immediately drawn together, and it was an encounter neither has ever forgotten. 

Now it’s 1944, and a plane crash in hostile territory throws them back together, but on opposite sides of a seemingly endless war. Facing each other as opponents is one thing. As enemies, another thing entirely. And to make matters worse, Mark is a POW, held in a cold, remote castle in Germany… in a camp run by Armin.

They aren’t the young athletes they were back then. The war has taken wives, limbs, friends, leaving both men gray beyond their years, shell-shocked, and battered. The connection they had back then is still alive and well, though, and from the moment Mark arrives, they’re fencing again—advancing, retreating, testing defenses.

Have they been given a second chance? Or have time and a brutal war broken both men beyond repair? 

Another year draws to a close (Happy Solstice)

Considering the fact that the Solstice is over, I'll consider the year over - as we enter into the Winter season and the days get longer, it's been a pretty introspective time for me. Mostly, I've been making plans for 2016 and said good-bye to 2015, which was part unholy mess and clearly part threshold year for me.

That said, I did achieve a lot of good things even in a year that wasn't very productive creatively.

- I signed with a Japanese and an Italian publisher for translations of some of my favourite stories.

- I got my "dream job" - where "dream job" can be defined as as job in an awesome team, for an ethically "good" company, doing something interesting and varied that I'm good at and for which I'm appreciated and paid very well.  I'm building towards my actual Dream, of course, which will involve coaching and training creatives, but for the moment and the next few years, I have it basically made. This was the kind of job I really really wanted and didn't think I could have. It was a massive improvement on my previously favourite job at a different bank, for less money. I wish I had the option to pull fewer hours, but the long days are a small price to pay.

- I knocked a significant amount off my mortgage. If things continue the way they've been going, I'm on track to own my house outright in 5-6 years. Though the actual goal is much shorter than that.

- I got to meet awesome people - fellow writers, but also new publishers, editors, translators, cover artists, audio narrators, and students. Few things are as energising for me as working with a fellow creative towards a common goal. I'm grateful for all of them and look forward to the projects that will come from this.

- I got qualified in NLP (Practitioner level) and did a lot of work on my negative emotions (fear, sadness, but mostly anger). That had interesting results and was tested seriously a few months later, but generally, I've become a better person. Also I know more about myself now, and some of that was completely eye-opening.

- I self-published Nightingale after five years. That was one of those "finally do it in 2015" goals. It's good to let a project go which has made me grow tremendously as a writer. The demons I've wrestled with that book are all sorted now, I think. Of course, there's a book after that that I'm even more scared of, but we'll get there in 2016. I hope to never again drag a book along with me for that long.

- I held my first writers' workshop and loved doing it. It's pointing to the future I want to create for myself - especially when combined with hypnosis and various alternative healing techniques.

- I had my first audiobooks produced (Incursion, Skybound, Deliverance, Gold Digger) and ended up loving audio as a format. Also I learned that my words translate really well into that medium.

- I had my first Italian translations made (Incursion, Deliverance) and apparently the Italian readers appreciate the kind of stories I have to tell, so I'm very excited about doing more of those.

- I had more German translations done - that's unfinished business I'm dragging into 2016, but I'm looking forward to getting several stories out tightly together.

- I terms of my "writing career", there's been a major re-alignment. After learning this the hard way, I much prefer running my own projects and my own career over handing this responsibility and power over to a publisher, so I expect to self-publish circa 90% of my future books.

It's not the money, it's the control. I'm no longer willing to work around a publisher's schedule or subject my books to an editor I haven't chosen and therefore don't trust. At this stage in my career, I actually need that power to be at peace with the whole thing. I'm not good at delegating (and have never been good at that), but mostly, I'm not okay with giving power over the stuff I was born to create to strangers. Not happening - unless somebody pays me a significant amount for a work-for-hire piece (significant amount = making a substantial contribution to paying off the mortgage).

Secondly, I've decided to not "write to market". The only reason I can see why anybody would write to market is the money. But money's taken care off. I make more editing for the bank than I need, so there's no need for maximising that income stream.

Obviously I want to get paid for my work, but there's a difference in writing a book well that "my readers" will appreciate and writing a book that ticks the boxes of current trends. With my writing time now so limited, I'm making a commitment only to write books that must be written - and those tend to be the weird ones, the historicals, fantasy, sci-fi novels. More books like Nightingale, or Dark Soul, and more Scorpion novels.

Overall, with these irritants taken care of, I'm looking forward to writing a lot more in 2016 than I have been in 2014-2015, and self-publishing the vast majority of it. (The main reason why I'm keeping a back door open for 10% of my work is that I might get inspired by a call put out by a publisher or contribute to a charity anthology).


So, for 2016: 

- I won't be taking on any more editing work (my brain is booked out with the day job, and I only have a few creative hours left in the day, so those will go towards writing my own stuff). I'm still around for coaching.

- This time next year, I'll be fully qualified as an NLP Master Practitioner. I've been a little nervous, but then various puzzle pieces fell together in the right way and I think it's time to tackle that. That should also make me a much better coach. I like to think of it as "levelling up". NLP Trainer and possibly Trainer's Trainer will follow in due course when I'm ready. I'll pick up some other therapies along the way - whatever could help a stuck writer.

- I'll get control back over several of my old books, so I'll be writing sequels that people are waiting for or that have been dinging around in my skull. Specifically, that should be the sequels to Incursion, Gold Digger, and Dark Soul. I'll also write some more Scorpion novels, but I don't foresee them coming out before late 2018.

- I've cancelled Suckerpunch - there are contractual reasons for that. Also, Counterpunch will eventually fall out of print and won't return. That said, I have an idea to use the characters for something else. It just won't be set in that alternative universe. But that's still a long way away.

- I'll keep paying off the mortgage and work towards a future where the financial stuff is taken care of and that means one step closer to the Big Dream.

- I'm also going to push a number of health goals - move more, eat better (though I'm doing pretty well on that second count).

- I want to travel more. Huge number of destinations and to-be-visited friends are on the list. I'll see how they all fit into my calendar.

- In terms of production, I'm planning for (English) audiobooks of Return on Investment and Nightingale; German translations for Skybound, Incursion, Gold Digger, Return on Investment, and Nightingale; Italian translations for Nightingale and Return on Investment.

In terms of writing, I'm planning to release in 2016:

- Risk Return (Return on Investment sequel)
- Unnamed Return on Investment prequel
- Broken Blades (with LA Witt)
- The "whale book" (historical novel)
- The first book in an urban fantasy mini-series (kind of a series - the format is a bit weirder)
- Exile (Incursion sequel)
- Pure Gold (Gold Digger sequel)
- Dark Heart (Dark Soul spin-off), Silvio & Battista (no real title yet), and the story of the third brother.

So that's 9 new projects and most of those are novels, with a few novellas thrown in - so I can't actually promise I'll deliver all of those. In an ideal world, they'll all happen, and a few projects I'm not even aware of yet (like co-writes).

I've chosen them because only two of them contain major (read: months of) research efforts, and all of them have at least a core already that I can build around. But of course, editing, proofreading, layout and checking translations and doing quality checks of audiobooks will also take time.

At the very least, I'm aiming for a new book release every quarter, so that's four. Generally, I feel much more positive about writing and publishing than I have felt in years, so 2016 should rock. I definitely look forward to getting all those ideas out on paper.

Nightingale releases

It's a testament to how far I'm behind with everything that I only manage to update the blog now. It meant overcoming the jetlag and finding a moment to organise my thoughts.

So, as subscribers to my newsletter already know, Nightingale is out now on Amazon.

Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk
Amazon.de
Amazon.fr
Amazon.it
Amazon.ca

If you don't want to buy it from Amazon, send me an email to vashtan at gmail dot com - I'm happy to send you the file for a small donation to a LGBTQ charity or a charity that helps the refugees. Both causes are close to my heart.

I'll be updating this blog post with links to interviews and blog posts about Nightingale. I'm not really doing a tour, but in case you're interested, the links are below:

Inglorious Bitches: And A Nightingale Sang 

(More to follow)  

Back from New Zealand

Last week's trip to New Zealand was really a family visit to Palmerston North, so we didn't "do" much there - it was very much about family bonds with Dude's family (he has a stepmother and two step siblings there). 

Still, we managed to go on a day trip to Wellington (completely booked out, so finding a place where to rest our weary heads was a mini adventure in itself). And here's an impression from the Wellingtom Tourist Information Centre: 

The hotel where we ended up staying (Room 101 - you can't make this up) was down just a few doors from a tattoo parlour, so Dude got his long-awaited "armband" tattoo. 

On top of that, we visited (again) Te Papa, and enjoyed it very much  - especially the Gallipoli exhibition  which was very well done. 

And since I love the local jade (pounamu), I got myself a koru (spiral) piece and two whalebone carvings - the whale stranded at Gisborne, just down the coast, and the Maori have the traditional right to stranded whales in New Zealand, so that's where my two pieces came in. I've never seen whalebone carvings before (outside Te Papa, that is), and considering I'm working on a book about whalers, that seems like a nice little "coincidence". I do like surrounding myself with physical reminders of the book I'm working on - it keeps me focused and on task.

The first is a fairly traditional "hook" (supposed to bring prosperity and protect during journeys over water). You can see the typical whalebone structure - unlike most bone carvings that are mostly cow bone, shiny, white and polished, whale book is greyer and porous. It's also oddly light, and the slight roughness is actually nice to touch. 

The second is more "modern" in design  and clearly an unfurling fern (koru - the spiral, which signifies growth, strength, beauty and new beginnings).

I'm currently mostly wearing the hook, but I predict I'll switch back and forth between these two.