Cover - Lion of Kent

Hope it's OK to show this - the cover for Kate Cotoner & my "Lion of Kent" out soon from Carina Press. I think it looks like a movie poster. :)

Who cares, as long as they FUCK, right? (A rant)

Today was a day of WTF. Catching up on my various author loops, one thing is the main theme at the moment. First, "Dear Author" started an interesting discussion on why accuracy matters in m/m historicals. A few of the comments already had me groan.

Then on an author loop, people are talking about how much research is "enough". (Personally, it's enough when nobody can catch me on a mistake, when I live in those people's heads, when I know what they wear, how that feels and what their childhood was like). One example, I've started my research on "Iron Cross" with a series of three books that begin to tell the history on Nazi Germany in 1871. My book's set in 1941-1956ish. But I need to know about my characters' parents and what events would have influenced them in their childhood. Were they hungry often? How bad was the French occupation of Germany's industrial centres and were reparations payments too high or just right? How bad was inflation (pretty fucking bad - Germany has no reason to laugh at Zimbabwe)?

In various forms, shapes and iterations, today I've read these statements/reasonings:

1 - Who cares, it's FICTION after all.
2 - Who cares, it's just ROMANCE.
3 - Who cares, as long as the main characters FUCK, right?

Who cares?

Readers do. Your paying customers.

It's true, readers fall into two camps. The first group - let's call them the "neutrals", won't notice (the style handbook I just read at work calls those "the ignorant/dumb masses" - but hey, the place I work for now is pretty damn elitist. As far as I'm concerned, everybody has the right to not give a fuck, APART FROM THE AUTHOR.) From a commercial viewpoint, these readers will just keep buying the stuff. They don't care. Which is cool. As a writer, you can "bag" those pretty easily. No investment necessary.

The second group is the group of people that do notice. And after a lot of interaction with my readers, I had to completely revise my own expectations what "romance readers are like". Because, surprise, a huge amount of them are have degrees, careers, are widely-read and/or discerning. And while porn/erotica/explicit romance is often a bit of a guilty pleasure, they love stuff that takes them seriously. They have brains. Saying "it's just fiction" is mind-bending arrogance towards fiction readers. Saying "it's just romance" is mind-bending arrogance against YOUR readers.

If I get a complaint about a book (they have happened, I did have my one-star reviews on Amazon), saying "hey, it's just fiction/I made shit up/oy, it's just romance" in defence is like saying "what? I thought you were too FUCKING DUMB TO NOTICE."

Newsflash, readers hate being taken lightly. Me, if I detect that form of arrogance and the lack of trust in my basic intellectual capabilities in a writer, I will never again buy a book from that author.

Worse, I'll review what I've read and call them arrogant, lazy, stupid, and a bad writer. In public, and to my friends.

How do you sell books? People saying "WOW, I loved that book!" It's not the cover, it's not even really your stylistic quality as a writer (or Dan Brown wouldn't sell so many books). It's people that say "wow, this book is awesome" in public.

Who reviews? Hardcore users/readers. People that have read so much they have very strong opinions, a well-honed taste, and aren't shy about expressing both. They are your "multiplicators" - they sell your books to their friends and readers.

Telling those people - who are, in 99% of all cases NOT "neutral readers" - "oy, it's just romance/fiction/hey they fuck, what ELSE could you possibly want?" ... is, in short, a very, very bad mistake.

So, who are these readers?

I've had great conversations with some of my readers. A "military brat" told me my depiction of "the soldier psyche" is spot-on. A woman involved in finances said "yes, your bankers/investors - they are exactly like that, only the guys I go to meetings with aren't as witty, fierce and sexy... but otherwise, they've been taken straight from life!" another reader with a history degree stopped by to chat extensively with me about medieval bathing culture based on ONE paragraph of writing.

These people read romances, too. I'm in awe of every one of them, because, shit, they know their stuff. They know the real thing when they see it. To them, it's not "just fiction/romance."

Sex is great, but many of them want a story, characters, real research and HONESTY. I'm working my ass off for these readers, because I know they'll catch me out if I get lazy or complacent or believe I know my stuff. Because I don't. I'll never know enough to completely trust myself.

And just as I was typing this up, in comes a link where a reviewer calls out a writer on terrible research and the writer practically says "oh, but I'm just a romance writer." Perfect illustration of the points made above.

Those mistakes?

Could be fixed with just using Wikipedia (I'm NOT endorsing Wikipedia as your only resource, but it's a start).

It's funny how writers who don't even put in five minutes of research at the same time expect readers to put in hours of their time to read that drivel.

Who cares?

Readers do. Reviewers do. People that PAY money for that badly-made crap.

Life's too short to do shoddy work. Do I want to be remembered for being a lazy bastard who didn't take his readers seriously, just to save time and make twenty bucks?

Fuck no. I don't give a fuck if they FUCK. Take me seriously as a reader. Take YOURSELF seriously as a writer, a crafter, a maker of reality in people's minds.

What we do is magic, you don't fuck with that.


/Rant out.


ETA: Changed one sentence to apply it to generic "writers", since it might have been mistaken as an attack against one individual.

ETA2: Removed the example & link.

The "fan" and me

In all honesty, I'm still deeply uncomfortable with the term "fan", especially when it comes to me. "My" "fans" - I can't put in enough quote marks to express the raised-eyebow and "are you talking about me???" feeling I get from that.

I'm not humble, I just feel a little awkward. The way I refer to the people reading my stuff is simply - readers. I myself am not "fannish". There are almost no things in the world I'd call myself a fan of. I like stuff, I follow stuff, but "fan" is simply too strong a word.

On a personal level, I'm just somebody who writes and puts stuff out there. Yes, people are involved (it's not creative masturbation), but I see them more as the addressees of my writing than "fans" of me as the author or even my whole body of work. There will always be people who love Special Forces and none of my other things, and always people who want me to write "alone" and people who don't like my writing anything but dark and heart-rending.

The sheer scope and strength of the muse demands I produce a fairly diverse body of work (which will include mainstream books if the inspiration strikes), and the only person who will love everything I do is me. And even that's not a guarantee. After a few years, many texts lose energy and there are passages that I read and go WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING. It's a conscious and serious efford to accept that stories "age" and "fade" - it's hard to keep my hands away and say "that was me, this is me now". Even I am not a fan of myself, or at least not all of it.

Career-wise, I don't have to please everybody and I'm not inoffensive. I get into fights, I can come across as a belligerent, snarky asshole (especially in reviews and when I rant), but I have that freedom because my paycheque is not from (creative) writing. In the truest sense of the word, I'm an amateur and likely always will be one. Also, I've always published in niches, clubby "oh, don't I know you from somewhere" kinda places.

In RPG circles, I was a fairly established creator/writer, and it was all very informal. In RPGs, everybody is creative, I was just one of the guys who wrote it all down and got paid for it (if I was lucky). There has never been any distance between me and the people I'm writing for and that buy my books. It was all on a first-name basis, too. Not literary establishment by a long stretch, and that's exactly how I like it.

Now that I'm gaining what's called "traction" in the gay m/m romance niche, I suddenly face the situation where people send me letters signed with "your devoted/loyal fan". Heartwarming, utterly charming, to feel that outpouring of love from a stranger, somebody who feels they owe me praise based on some words I put down years or months ago.

And then I suddenly realise that emailing them, chatting with them leads to "OMG, the author CHATTED WITH ME" moments. Part of me can't stop grinning, because it's so endearing and cool and nice, some part of me goes "woah, I'm just somebody who puts words down..." and I think I don't "deserve" that kind of affection/love (I mean, for what? I just put down words as good as I can, but my motivation to do so is 90% internal. I do it because I want to and because I feel I owe developing that "gift" as much as I can - and share it. Responsibility and all that.) I'd lie if I denied there's also a moment of smugness that says "hell, I must be doing something right." But the overall feeling is "holy shit, what's just happening???"

I do wonder how people cope with that. Say you get from rags to overnight fame, from total obscurity to being "somebody" and people go crazy not just over the writing but YOU the author, your whole body of work. Everything you do. How do the Big Guns cope?

I'm glad to be in a very small niche - I never want to have to give up the personal contact and feeling "we're all peers here". I want to have the time to engage with my readers and chat to them for an hour or more. That's really what all this is about. People, and getting words out. Touching a life or two. Shortening a commute. Making people laugh and cry.

As a very good writer and writing teacher once said: "Your ego doesn't matter."

Re-learning

I'm currently re-learning my job - that is, writing articles. I have to read more Economist and Financial Times to work out how to spin the angles. In the old place, everything was so formulaic it was hardly worth it, but the new place requires actual journalism. What a shocker. (They are also beating the crap out of my old place for quality and circulation.)

It's a challenge, but I'm digging in and trying to make better stories. I'm writing too dense and technical at the moment, for fear of straying too far from the press release, so I tense up and what you get is tensed-up prose. I know the problem, now I have to fix it. More reading.

Tomorrow's hand-over of the old flat, which means one huge thing off my mind.

Did 766 words on "Scorpion & Steel" and will very soon hit 20k. No idea what publisher might want it, but I don't care and don't want to think about it (yet). I'm looking to finish it in August. Ish. Let's see where it goes.

I have covers and banners for "Lion of Kent" and a release month for "Don't Ask Don't Tell," which will soon be out from MLR Press. They say July.

It's almost surreal that a story caught in limbo for what feels like 4 years will finally be released. It's not been the experience it could have been, and that's saying plenty about it. Four years is a lot of time to change your mind about a story. I always want to re-write after about two years. Four years feels like prehistory. It's so far away now. But back then, it was a good story, and I'm glad it is coming out. Closure is important.

I have to update my website with reviews and release dates and excerpts, so that's a project for the weekend. In the meantime, I'll report on financial modelling while knowing next to nothing about it. I feel like an impostor, but I hope I'll be able to catch that professor tomorrow first thing and ask him some half-baked questions. Nothing like borrowing somebody else's brains to look smart as a hack.

Also read the House Style Guide. The fact that we use the Oxford serial comma makes me happy.

First Day

I feel much better equipped to start work here than in about any other place I've ever worked. And I reckon I'll be busy. They are so many things and routines to remember, I'll get some more training (libel and plagiarism, the double-scourges of the digital-age journalist). Will likely write some first news stories today, then will get involved in editing the current month's magazine.

I reckon I must be an awesome person to get his job and that people believe I can do it to their satisfaction. Then again, it's really just stepping up my game (yes, A LOT) from what I've done. May end up doing awesome things here.

Office is very nice, I have a corner desk, back to the filing cabinets, so no more sales people shouting in my back. It's generally much quieter than the old place, so no need to drone out ambient noise/sales people with industrial and heavy metal.

Got my pass key, have some paperwork to fill in, and really get to know the industry as soon as I can. It's huge, it's active, it's so very complex, and "lifelong learning" doesn't begin to cover it. And it's now all mine, MUAHAHAHA.

In terms of writing/creativity, I did answer a lot of writing-related emails yesterday, and did some work for eXcessica, which had been piling up around me. There's only one more of those to do and that's it.

The scorpion story has more than 18k words and looks like it may end up a full novel. Possibly. At least it's not a trilogy, but I keep gauging the depths of that project and get the feeling there's a lot of stuff and plot I don't know yet.
But of course, gauging length only works when you're around 90% done. "This is almost it", the muse says, and then I add around 10% for general tidying up.

Today, I'll look at the old flat, toss some stuff out and that should be all ready for handover on Wednesday. After that I only have to worry about one house, and the garden, of course.

Germany won, and I'm keeping a low profile, only talking about football when somebody else starts on the topic. The whole city is talking about football, from the train to the queue in your usual anonymous coffee chain.

12k and countıng

Rıght, I'm wrıtten out for the scorpıon project at 12k. It has stopped pourıng out and ıs now only trıcklıng. Fırst rush ıs over. I thınk that brıngs the total up to anywhere between 17 and 20k, and I'm not done yet.

It has cooled down somewhat - the cloud are hangıng low over the Babadag mountaıns, mountaıns that make part of me ımagıne crusaders tryıng to get theır carts and horses across. It's a great lıttle place, but I'll never come here agaın ıst June, July or August. I would have lıked to be more actıve and see Ephesus and go to Fetıyeh market. Well, at least I got lots of stuff read and wrıtten...and I slept loads.

Plenty of thıngs pılıng up ın my ınbox. Edıts, emaıls that need a bıt more focus and tıme than I have rıght now. And yeah, Germany's playıng England on Sunday. Let's say, I wouldn't mınd the 'tradıtıon' to be upheld... the 'new' Germany plays pretty good football, and I'd wager England would have struggled agaınst Ghana a lot, too.

Leavıng here tomorrow at 18:30 for one of the more unpleasant aırports I've used ın my lıfe. Dalaman ıs pretty rıdıculous when you try to eat somethıng there, and last tıme our flıght was late and they sent us all over the place but not where we were supposed to be. Dıdn't matter, by the tıme the plane left well late, we were too exhausted to mınd.

Wıll lıkely spend the rest of the day doıng some research for 'Iron Cross'.

Whoot - 8k!

I wrote a total of 8k on the holıday ın the last two days. The story ıtself ıs not goıng as planned, and apparently my Muse's mınd ıs just on sex. Just on sex. When the thıng threatened to get towards plot, ın came a flashback and covered one character's whole sexual hıstory. ı mıght end up takıng that out and breakıng ıt up, but the flashback had one rape, one masochıstıc bottom servıcıng a whole unıt of mercs and sexual ınıtıatıon rıtes as well as an offıcer!crush.

Well. Wıth all the dark ıssues goıng on there, I have no clue who'd take ıt, but ıt's not a 'nıce lıttle story' as I'd thought I'd get - not by a long stretch. Kendras ıs lıterally fındıng hıs feet agaın, and he's easıly ready to carry the whole book. I'm not sure 'Grey Eyes' ıs hıs match enough to make hım hıs partner (ın the m/m romance sense) - they are a good sexual fıt, but Grey Eyes turned out to be pretty ınsecure behınd hıs smugness. Oh dear. Then agaın, who but the offıcer!crush can match Kendras? I don't thınk so. Trouble ıs, the guy mıght be dead.

Ah, yeah, and there's thıs madcap merc unıt whose names are Steel, Puppy, Stıck, and Wıdow. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, MUSE? And they are a shambles and ın a job much bıgger than they thınk.

Yeah, and there are plenty of thıngs happenıng ın the background, but at least Kendras ıs doıng stuff and tellıng me more about hıs past.

Rıght, England won the game. A face-off versus Germany ıs gettıng more and more lıkely. WE just have to beat Ghana. Please, beat Ghana. Esepcıally sınce people tend to mıstake me for Canadıan these days, so I mıght not get pelted wıth stones on Englısh streets ıf our 'Eleven' demolıshes the 'Lıons'.

Yeah, I can dream.